There’s a song, while it’s not 100% applicable to this situation, it’s close enough to make the point… the lyrics speak loudly to this situation and to many others. Before you go on, here you go.
Yeah, there's two sides to every breakup, One's a lie and one's the truth.
One of 'em went down and one was made up, But in the end we both lose.
Why can't we meet in the middle Call it even, call a truce.If you quit telling lies about me,... I won't tell the truth about you (truth about you)
Sadly, in today’s social media driven world where people believe what they’re told first, it’s required to tell a story with full on prove and evidence. Sadly, it’s come down to having to tell the truth.
I have a story that needs to be told about a so-called friend who turned my life upside down without any remorse for his actions. A friend who left me with PTSD and a complete loss in faith of people and broken trust. However before I do, I must make it clear, I won’t lie, I have no reason to. And to avoid creating doubt, entire text threads and history will be published. I just have a hard time allowing someone who treats another human being with such horrific disdain to sucker punch me, walk away, and spread stories about me that aren’t true especially when I ask to put this to closure and am told “I don’t want to give you closure”… pathetic if you ask me. This isn’t mentally stable behavior.
“Having difficult conversations is a skill, and like any skill, it’s an ability that can be honed with practice. Learning these confrontational skills early on can not only benefit yourself but also protect those around you.” – Simon Sinek
“I don’t see anything wrong with ghosting anyone, I mean, haven’t you ghosted people before?” – Taylor McWade Murray.
Why Ghosting Harms
What Is It and why it hurts those who go through it
Ghosting hurts; it’s a cruel rejection. It is particularly painful because you are left with no rationale, no guidelines for how to proceed, and often a heap of emotions to sort through on your own. If you suffer from any abandonment or self-esteem issues, being ghosted may bring them to the forefront.
For the person who is ghosted, there is no closure and often deep feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. Initially, you wonder “what’s going on?” When you realize the other person has ended the relationship or friendship, you’re left to wonder why, what went wrong in the relationship, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with them, how you didn’t see this coming.
Ghosting SUCKS!
Ghosting leaves the other party with more questions than anything else. It confuses them, because you had given them the idea that you will be around for a while. You gave them the hope that they are wanted, and good enough, and someone with whom quality time could be spent… AND THEN YOU JUST UP AND LEAVE!
– You Move on
– You find someone new or make new friends.
– You have things going for you.
– You are committed because you have found the “right” person/people for you.
Meanwhile, the person you’ve ghosted cannot connect with someone new, because their days are spent trying to figure out what was wrong with them that you had to leave without a note. They are constantly checking the conversations between the two of you for clues of what they did or said, or didn’t do or say. For many who have special circumstances such as ADHD / RSD, this compounds and makes the pain 10 times worse, even produces literal physical pain. They experience body aches and pains, they lose appetite, drop large amounts of weight suddenly, and experience it difficult to concentrate on common tasks such as work, home chores and things spiral.
The silent treatment- without explanation- is a form of emotional cruelty because it leaves the person powerless to the situation because they are unable to find out any answers. It will always leave the person hanging.
What Ghosting Says About You:
– Ghosting someone makes you a shitty person.
– It makes you a coward, both men and women.
– It makes you someone who cannot take responsibility for your own decisions.
– It makes you an unreliable friend.
– It shows you have no respect for another person’s feelings.
– It say you are inconsiderate and don’t care much about the impact or consequences of your actions.
– It’s easier than breaking up but it also shows you have no character when you choose easy over integrity.
Ghosting SUCKS! It can suck to the point where people try harming themselves trying to figure out why this person suddenly found no value or “use” for them. Especially when there is a long prior history, it completely invalidates all of the good in the past and makes the person feel as if that time was never real. It also makes the person feel as if they were simply played or used.
The person ghosted often carries this damage with them for life. It can completely destroy their sense of trust in others and causes self-isolation trouble and brings deep depression.
What it worth ghosting them rather than being a man? (or a woman?) Instead of blaming the ghosted person for being weak, look in the mirror. If you get into an auto accident and you hit someone and leave them physically scarred which leaves lasting damage while you’re untouched, do you tell them to just “get over it and move on?” Scars are scars, and emotional scars run deeper than physical.
It’s a dick-move, to say the least! So think about it, doesn’t that make you a dick, too?
This website was originally created to tell the story of a real-life situation between two long time friends where one suddenly up and walked away with an absolute refusal to offer requested closure. Not only was there ghosting, but a flat-out, to the face, “I don’t want to give you closure” declaration. In time this website will be updated with the complete story in hopes to help bring closure and to offer tips and advice to others to learn from this story to help protect themselves from this form of abuse.
Stay tuned.
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